Cast Commentary #12

Kimbar: Okay, let's get this show on the road. Today is an important day - this is our final cast commentary of season 1, and we're discussing the very last episode. And, as a bonus, we've got our wonderful editor to join us! Welcome, Jennifer. There are a number of very important scenes in this episode - Kennedy, Celeste, Madison, the search for Arianna, and of course - Arianna's scene at the very end. With so much going on, this episode is a wild and fantastic ride. Let's start at the beginning and work our way to the end. Madison ends her relationship with Emery. How did you guys react to that scene?

Jennifer: From an editor's perspective, I liked the scene because it seemed *real.* And the idea of one person being happy and totally unaware of their partner's unhappiness? Always painful and powerful.
Noel: The Madison/Emery scene was a long time coming and it needed to happen.

Noel: It was hard to read it at last... but I was also relieved! I felt Emery was holding herself back staying in the Cove.

Noel: And Madison... she's so different from Emery. I think the two of them have very different life goals.

Skye: Neale and I talked a lot about this scene, to be honest. It took a while to get into Emery's head and see how she would react to Madison's reveal. It was interesting for me to realize Emery was less hurt about the cheating and more hurt that Madison had lived unhappily with her for so long. It was nice to handle a breakup that didn't involve screaming and weeping and so on. Emery was just so sad Madison had been that unhappy and hadn't told her... and that she had almost given up her dream job for this relationship.

Skye: I also wanted to be sure Neale noted that Emery would leave all her financial assets in the Cove to the boys. Because leaving Landon and Carter was the hardest part of the breakup for her.

Kimbar: I loved that part. It really brought me close to Emery in that moment, even though it was from Madison's point of view.

Skye: But you're right, Noel. She was definitely holding herself back in the Cove.

Noel: Emery took immediate financial responsibility. Even though the boys weren't biologically hers. And Madison is certainly their Mom (capital M) but Emery has these incredible personal ethics.

Noel: I loved the line: I can't process this with you.

Noel: Like: You have to turn to someone else as a best friend because I can't be that to you. Not this time.

Skye: Emery was with Madison so long she felt like a mom (little m) to the boys. She would never butt into Madison's rules or life, but she felt it was her responsibility, for sure. Especially since her leaving would leave Madison, and therefore the boys, with financial strain.

Kimbar: I definitely agree with that. Now, speaking of messy breakups - we get to see the final results of the Kitty/Kennedy breakup in this episode when Rei confronts Kennedy for the final time, and afterward Kennedy's final self-descruction.

Rowan: I thought the Kitty/Kennedy breakup was handled beautifully. It is one of my favorite scenes from Season One.

Noel: I agree.

Skye: Talk about a breakup that was truly a long time in coming... I was so happy this was the route the story took. I felt like it was the only healthy option, especially for Kitty. But hard.

Noel: You know...

Noel: The truth is...

Noel: People break up.

Noel: Lesbians break up.
Noel: A lot.

Neale joined the chat 

Neale: Better late than never?

Noel: Hey, Neale.

Rowan: Hey, Neale

Kimbar: Welcome, Neale, it's good to have you join us! We are now complete =)

Noel: To not have relationships ending would have made the series less than realistic.

Rowan: I agree, Noel.

Noel: I think we did it right.

Kimbar: I think that's very true, and I like that each breakup - like each relationship - is handled so realistically and so individually. No relationship is alike; no breakup is alike.

Noel: Emery and Madison break up. Emery moves away. That's one type of break up.

Noel: Kitty and Kennedy break up. But (as we'll see in Season 2), their lives continue to be tangled in some ways.

Noel: I like that we continue to give the readers a little of everything. Hopefully everyone can find something that mirrors their own life.

Noel: With extra spice and drama thrown in, of course

Skye: Definitely. I feel our diversity in all aspects of life is one of the best parts of the series.

Rowan: I like the Kitty/Kennedy situation because I think it does mirror life. As I get older, I am less likely to want to cut ties completely. There's a lot invested in a relationship and I think that Kitty and Kennedy have a lot invested in theirs. It will be interesting to see where it goes and how they manage it in Season Two.

Kimbar: I fully agree, Rowan.

Rowan:

Kimbar: Speaking of breakups - there's a breakup that isn't able to happen in this episode because - oh my gosh! - one of the members has gone walking in the woods with a dead cell phone and a lost compass! This was a *huge* part of the plot because, as we all know, this is the climax of the main plotline that runs through the story and ties everything together. Can we talk about Aidan, Mikayla, and the search for Arianna?

Noel: Ah, yes. Good point, Kimbar.

Noel: There's a third breakup type -- The "I've fallen for someone else -- someone I have an emotional connection to -- while I was hooking up with you" break up. LOL!

Neale:

Noel: Interestingly, that relationship was incredibly vital to Arianna as a woman... yet it dies with a sigh, doesn't it? Not a bang at all.

Skye: It also entails the "I don't know if we were even exclusive but I feel like you should know I..." kind of breakup.

Noel: They both continue to live in the Cove (not too much of a spoiler there, I don't think) but they really don't stay close or even really friends.

Skye: Proof that different relationships mean different things even to the women in them.

Kimbar: Of course, then Aidan finds that diary and realizes that...label or no, the relationship was incredibly important to Aidan.

Rowan: I guess I didn't see Arianna as a relationship type of woman.

Rowan: In this case, the plot overshadows the breakup. But I didn't feel surprised by this breakup.

Noel: Me neither, Rowan. I never did.

Noel: Though... as Arianna's writer... I'd love to see her end up with... *drum roll* ...Pip.

Rowan: Aidan was convenient. They had a good time. But it wasn't something permanent.

Noel: Yeah. Exactly.

Skye: I always thought she could have been in a relationship, but it would take a certain kind of woman.

Neale: I think in some ways, that's why they don't stay in touch - not that the relationship, per se, is important, but a huge milestone for Arianna.

Noel: And what do we do with milestones? We reach them, and then pass on by.

Rowan: I guess I see Arianna as self-involved. But not in a bad way. Her life has really changed and if I were her, I would want to focus on what I'd discovered.

Rowan: I pick up my milestones and carry them with me.

Rowan: Which is why my friends hate it when I move.

Noel: LOL!

Neale: Lol!

Noel: You must have a very strong back, Rowan!

Rowan: Yes.

Rowan: Very strong.

Rowan: And a hand truck helps.

Noel: I was glad, though, that Aidan connected with Mikayla.

Skye: I was, too. I wanted Mikayla to come to the Cove pretty much immediately. I think she and Aidan are wonderful together.

Kimbar: How about the search scene - that was pretty big. We get Celeste, Gabe, Aidan, and Rei together to go looking for Arianna. I love Gabe's involvement in that, by the way. He's definitely become one of my favorite characters!

Rowan: Wasn't Gabe voted most popular?

Noel: I adore Gabe. I adore the spider bracelet coming back into play.

Noel: Yes, he was *proud smile*

Kimbar: Who was the genius behind the spider bracelet?

Jennifer: I was very pleased that we had a realistic autistic character in the series.

Skye: I *loved writing the search scenes!* I had dreams of the sculpture garden for weeks. I feel like it's the only time I've gotten to write a scene that touches on the almost supernatural elements in the Cove. And Gabe was a huge part of that.

Rowan: I agree, Jennifer.

Noel: The spider bracelet (all the bracelets, actually) were always part of Gabe's character. The symbolism was the weaving of life's tapestry.

Jennifer: Who better to weave the threads than Gabe?

Noel: Right. He would weave for all the right reasons.

Skye: A pure soul for sure.

Skye: It was perfect. Thank you all.

Kimbar: There are a couple of more points I'd love to touch on. We get to see a very powerful scene here with Tatiana. Can we talk about that for a little bit? I feel like we haven't devoted enough time to her, but she's such a fascinating and well written character with a deep background.

Noel: Yes, Tatiana receives the letter. My heart stopped.

Kimbar: Mine too, Noel!

Noel: Talk about a life being turned inside out.

Noel: I remember thinking: Oh sh*t.

Noel: Can those two worlds come together?!

Rowan: I guess we'll see

Kimbar: I felt, in this scene, that Tatiana was almost psychic - I realize that the adoption records had recently been opened, but the fact that Tatiana had just seen a woman who made her think of her daughter days before, and it had been on her mind leading up to the event of the letter, and then the letter comes - it definitely had that supernatural feel to it, which happens a lot in Mariel Cove.

Noel: The magic of the Cove creeping in!

Noel: What a wonderful event for Episode *12*! Like, as a reader, I was: Bring on Season 2!!

Noel: ; D

Neale: Definitely. It was a great cliff hanger.

Rowan: I will say that many years ago, I met a woman who had kept a child of rape.

Noel: Really?

Rowan: We talked for a long time about the pros and cons of that choice. But ultimately what she said to me was, It's not the child's fault.

Rowan: She loved that child because he was hers.

Noel: Wow. I love that.

Noel: How did that influence your writing of Tatiana -- in Season 1 and 2?

Rowan: I think the love a parent feels for a child is unbreakable.

Rowan: No matter what happens.

Rowan: You love them. It becomes part of your DNA, whether or not you're the birth mother or not, whether the circumstances were positive or not. You just do.

Rowan: And I think it changes you in a positive way. And a permanent one.

Neale: Absolutely, Rowan. Being a parent is so much more than DNA.

Rowan: I couldn't agree with you more, Neale.

Kimbar: I absolutely agree with that.

Rowan: I was really proud of this woman for making that choice and it really stuck with me.

Rowan: It was wonderful to be able to honor her in some small way with this character.

Rowan: Noel, to answer your earlier question, I think that Tatiana wants her daughter to be part of her life. And she'll find a way to make it work. The fact that Ghiera is so supportive helps a lot.

Noel: Because school teachers rock! : )

Rowan: Having been a teacher, I would have to agree with you

Kimbar: Finally, I would like to talk about the very ending of this season. Arianna finally comes face to face with her past. This, for me, was my favorite scene in the entire series.

Noel: Hey! Thanks : D

Rowan: It was the moment we'd been building toward.

Noel: I wanted so badly for readers to *understand* and empathize with Arianna by the time that scene came along.

Noel: Because... uh... she's kinda crazy in that last scene LOL!

Rowan: You definitely succeeded. I loved the resolution.

Noel: Thanks, Rowan : )

Noel: When I read Jennifer's notes about where Arianna would end up at the end of Season 1, my first reaction was: WTF?! How the hell am I going to pull that off?!

Noel: I never written *tension* like that before. The type of tension that would allow someone to do what Arianna did -- pull a gun on a stranger!

Skye: Arianna became one of my favorite characters to read by the end of the season. I really loved seeing her in the wild. I felt like it showed a different side of her. The side that would be out in the field. She seemed natural there.

Kimbar: We almost have a cliffhanger ending here, though! Jennifer, how did you make the decision to end it the way you did?

Jennifer: That decision was purely from a publisher's perspective.

Jennifer: Little rules that have proved themselves over the years:

Jennifer: Sex sells. Put sex in Part 1 and people will buy Part 2.

Jennifer: If you're going to have a break... end with a cliff hanger.

Jennifer: Also, the cliff-hanger was to set up the use of the epilogues to tell Mariel's back story.

Jennifer: Starting in Episode 12 of Season 1 and continuing through Episode 11 of Season 2.

Noel: I thank you for that, Jennifer, because Mariel has become my favorite character to write.

Jennifer: Glad to hear it, Noel : )

Skye: I'm still waiting for the Mariel Novel, just saying. I'd read that in a second.

Noel: She's the most incredible character I've ever had the pleasure of writing -- my creation or no.

Rowan: Having had a chance to 'write" Mariel in one episode, I agree. She's wonderful.

Rowan: In Season Two, that is (hint hint)

Noel: (Isn't she, Rowan?! Mariel Ridgeway Fan Fiction Club!!)

Noel: LOL!

Rowan: Sign me up! 

Skye: Your love of her shows in your writing, Noel. I'm rarely as emotionally shaken/moved as I've been from some of the epilogues in Season 2.

Kimbar: So, Jennifer, will every season of Mariel Cove leave its mystery on a cliffhanger that will be resolved in the next season? Or is that just for season one?

Jennifer: Season 2 also ends with a killer (pun intended) cliff-hanger.

Jennifer: Not sure if we'll always do that... but it was fun ; )

Kimbar: Jennifer, you were the big genius behind the design of this series - how did you feel coming to the end and seeing what the authors had put together under your guidance?

Jennifer: The series wouldn't have had the backbone that it did without each of you.

Jennifer: There were fine details that you each brought that just brought the series an unexpected depth.

Jennifer: Emery being a blogger.

Jennifer: Roisin's Huntingtons.

Jennifer: Kennedy's sexual appetite.

Jennifer: Kitty's inner conflict.

Jennifer: Tal's complexity.

Jennifer: For all the times you have all mentioned: Well, that was designed by Jennifer or That was pre-decided...

Jennifer: It was your own voices that made the characters real.

Jennifer: Mariel Cove was a cool idea... but guess what?

Jennifer: Ideas are a dime a dozen.

Jennifer: It's the execution of an idea that takes work and talent and drive and focus and inspiration.

Jennifer: You all brought all of that to Season 1.

Jennifer: It was an honor, really, to work with you all.

Jennifer: I feel like I grew as an editor and as a mother LOL!

Neale: Lol!

Kimbar: I think that's truly my favorite part of Mariel Cove - the team effort we all put in, the way we all worked together, and the community we've all become as a result of it. I can't think of a single person I'd rather work with than all of you ladies. =)

Rowan: I have to agree. This has been a great learning experience and a lot of fun.

Neale: Thank you for allowing us to execute your vision and ideas, Jennifer.

Jennifer: It was an adventure, ladies

Noel: A wild and crazy adventure!

Rowan: I agree.

 Kimbar: Well, I know I certainly can't wait for the completed edition of Season Two! AND Season Three! Ladies, we're well out of time, but it has been an absolute pleasure to get to talk with all of you this one last time about the first season. It truly has been =)

Noel: Thank you for having us over, Kimbar!

Neale: Me too!

Rowan: Yes. Hate to leave you with the dishes, though.

Noel: LOL, Rowan!

Kimbar: I can just magic all the dishes clean. After sculpting magical light-bending sculptures, dishes shouldn't be a problem.

Rowan: Cool, Kimbar. Send me that spell, will you? I've got some dishes in my sink.

Skye: Great chat

Jennifer: Thanks for letting me join you all Have a good night, ladies.

Skye: Good night!

Kimbar: Good night everybody!

Neale: Good night, everyone.

Rowan: Night all!

Noel: To sleep, to dream!

Noel: Bye all!

Cast Commentary #11

Conversations with Skye Montegue:

What was your favorite scene of this episode, and why?

I really love Arianna’s progression toward her goal, specifically in the last few episodes. I like traveling with her deeper into Crest Forest (I always feel like there’s something magical in Crest Forest we can’t write about because Mariel Cove is a drama, not fantasy) and learning more about her.

Kennedy finally puts her big plans to protect her and Kitty from Rei into action in this episode. She manipulates Lia, she confronts Rei, and she seems to have won. She even ends the scene believing she has complete control. Tell us about what has happened here.

Kennedy is desperately clinging to a relationship she already knows is over. Her conscious mind thinks that by removing the people that are critical of her relationship from her life that she and Kitty will bond again, that they’ll be close like they were when they traveled together. In the back of her mind, however, she knows things are coming to an end and she’s angry. She’s taking out all her insecurities, her pain, her fear on Rei and Lia. She doesn’t want their relationship to work. She doesn’t want Rei, who has become this symbol of everything that’s being taken away from her, to be happy, to feel secure.

She’s being a true bully. She thinks that by hurting and drawing energy and happiness from Rei she can find joy again in her own life. She can’t, of course. But for a moment, this final blow of destruction brings her peace. Unfortunately, this is just a high before a serious crash.

Later, the scene between Rei and Lia ends with Rei announcing to the reader that Kennedy *isn't* in control. Tell me about this line, and how it's being used in this later scene? What is the significance of it coming after the Kitty/Kennedy breakup scene?

Rei is realizing what’s really going on. She’s been victimized and she didn’t truly understand why. She knew Kennedy was angry about Rei’s offer of help to Kitty, but Kennedy’s actions have been too brutal and intricate to be a response to a single offer of help.

I wanted to show the reader the reality of Kennedy’s world and her thought process even when Kennedy is too intoxicated to see it herself. Kennedy’s anger is rooted in her fear and hurt. In her terror that kitty will leave her (which we see happened despite Kennedy’s best efforts.) Rei finally sees this. She sees that Kennedy is targeting her because Kennedy is afraid and helpless. This knowledge removes some of Rei’s fear and allows her to start standing up for herself.

You write for the character Lia, who is being manipulated by your other two characters. How do you feel Lia has grown and changed over the course of the book? What do you want the reader to take away from her experiences? Is there a lesson here?

For starters, I don’t feel like Rei was manipulating Lia. Rei genuinely had feelings for her (or, at least, the idea of her) and if Kennedy hadn’t inserted herself into their lives, they probably would have gone on to date for quite some time. What attracts Rei to Lia and what is eventually Lia’s downfall, however, is her naivete.

This question really made me think, to be honest. I feel like Lia is, in a way, a version of myself from when I was just coming out. She isn’t ignorant of the world, but I feel Lia came to Mariel Cove with the subconscious assumption that another woman, particularly one she cared about and who professed to care about her, wouldn’t be cruel to her. She’s impulsive and nomadic. She’s almost childlike in her trust and almost inability to see long-term consequences.

She really cared about Rei. It hurt her when Rei pulled away from her (for reasons I’ll discuss in the next question.) She was lonely and hurt in a way she’d never really experienced before. Then Kennedy showed an interest in her. Kennedy is gorgeous. She’s exciting and passionate and made Lia feel special and wanted in every way she wanted Rei to make her feel. She didn’t expect Kennedy to turn on her.

Lia changes quite a bit throughout the season. In a way, her innocence is lost. She’s slapped across the face with the truth that people you care about can change and hurt/play you. She also has to face the fact that she can screw up. Finding out she’d hurt Rei, that by not communicating she lost a chance with someone she cared about, rocked her. In the end, she had to leave. Mariel Cove became a moment in time where some of life’s realities carved a hard truth into her skin and she had to move on, a little sadder but hopefully wiser.

Rei's scene in this episode is a powerful one for her - this could be a huge turning point for her. What do you feel about Rei's ultimate decision in regards to Lia? Do you feel Rei has grown from this experience, that she's stayed true to herself in a way that she must, or do you feel that she passed up an opportunity to forgive and find happiness amidst all of the pain she has suffered?

I have a lot of feelings about Rei, to be honest. There are a lot of aspects of her personality and life that I’d love to explore but the storylines haven’t really set up right for it. I want to write about Rei’s body dysphoria, her warring senses of duty to her family and land and honesty about herself and the way she wants to live/sees herself. About her strong butch identity and how she feels she has to constantly police herself and her presentation so as not to offend her family. I want to talk more in depth about her problems showing emotion or sharing her feelings with other people. I especially want to talk about her plans to have a family. She carries a painful secret that won’t be revealed in season one or even two in regards to her desire to have a child and that plays a major part in why she feels unlovable and has a hard time keeping and embracing lovers and potential partners.

I think Lia became a symbol for Rei. A reminder that she is desireable and someone she cares about could want her back. She saw the potential of a less lonely future in Lia. She cared about Lia as a person definitely, but she was a lot more than a potential partner.

When Lia gets involved with Kennedy, it was like Kennedy stole Rei’s fragile new sense of self-worth. Kennedy stole the idea that Rei could have a partner in her future, not just a child. That someone could love her despite her cracks and weaknesses.

Rei was being true to herself when she talked with Lia, but I don’t think that truth is a healthy one. She was falling back into assumption that she’s not good enough to be loved, that she’s a stepping stone for her lovers to grow or a source of healing but never anyone that someone would choose to be with as a partner. I don’t think Lia and Rei would have been together for life (though the relationship would have been very healing for both of them) but losing Lia in that way at that time took every bit of hope and sense of rebirth she’d felt when they were together and ripped it out from under her feet, dropping her even lower than she was at the beginning of the season. And because she’s so steady and careful about her emotions, no one is able to see this hurt and until her assumptions are challenged again, she’s going to continue living exactly as she is now.

~*~

Conversations with Noel Meredith:

What was your favorite scene of this episode, and why?

This is a tricky question because as the central mystery for Season 1 comes to a climax, Arianna has more and longer scenes -- many of which were my favorites to write. However, my favorite scene by another author in this episode was Kitty's scene with Kennedy. It was powerful and gritty and over-do in the best way.

Noel, episode 11 begins with a dream Arianna is experiencing. Why don't you tell us a bit about it?

The convention of using a dream to slip extra information to the readers is a tried and true method -- and I actually wasn't the first to use it in Season 1. In this case, I was able to make several points bluntly as well as hint at others. I use the dream trapping sparingly but I have always loved it because of the surreal qualities we're allowed. Earlier in the season, Celeste had a dream that shared more information about her past then any other scene!

Several points in time, we find Arianna moved deeply by art: first by the paintings of Rosario and then later by Kitty's sculptures in the Sculpture Garden. This is so important that Arianna actually points out that something must be changing in her, as she usually doesn't care as much about the visual arts as she does about music. What do you see this doing for her character, overall? Why is this so very important for Arianna?

This is Arianna subconscious mind putting pieces together before she even realizes what's happening. Music was a big part of her adopted family. Art was a big part of her biological family. The symbolism I was playing with was that more and more, as Arianna unfolds the mystery, she is becoming her mother's child.

You discuss, in the epilogue, how Arianna's adopted mother referred to her as a wild thing when she was a child - which Arianna then uses to describe herself. Tell me about the symbolism here.

This is a direct reference to the '70s song, "Wild Thing," by Cris Williamson. I think Arianna's adopted parents are very open-minded, liberal people. Maybe her mother just called her a wild thing because her daughter was up a tree. But, symbolically, I was playing with the fact that Arianna's parents knew Arianna was gay and adventuresome even when she was a child. They knew, like the song says, that they would eventually have to set her free.

Arianna is the main starring character of Season One, and she's finally on the verge of answering all the questions she's had. What do you feel is the most important thing for the readers to take away from this particular episode in regards to Arianna's storyline? Is there an event that you feel is most significant, or a revelation, or something about her journey or her state of mind? Or something else entirely?

Arianna's journey in ths episode is a rebirth. She travels in the darkness, growing and learning as she discovers more paintings. Then she leaves the darkness to enter a world of exceptional art. This is the birth she would of had, had she not be adopted by the Trentons. One fascinating point, however, is that some of Arianna's (and the readers') biggest questions will not be answered in Season 1 but rather in stand-alone epilogues in Season 1, Episode 12 and throughout Season 2.

~*~

Conversations with Neale Taylor:

What was your favorite scene of this episode, and why?

My favorite scene was where Kitty finally leaves Kennedy. It was interesting to me that this is the scene that spoke to me the most in this episode, since I've found Kennedy to be an incredibly engaging character over the course of the series, and this scene is very strongly from Kitty's perspective. But... the scene was raw and real and it threw me immediately back to my first divorce. That line: "One load; that was all it took." I was there. I became Kitty. Though my relationship hadn't been as toxic as Kitty's, it spoke to me on a very real level.

Neale, early on in the episode we get to see Aidan and Mikayla arriving in town. Aidan is still in her caretaking mode, pulling over and attending to Mikayla when Mikayla's lip begins bleeding again and making sure not to speak about the fight in front of her to avoid forcing her to relive it. We've already discussed how friendships can be closer and more important than sexual relationships; how would you describe the friendship between Aidan and Mikayla?

Aidan has always been one of those people who need to be close to someone, as a friend, before she can have a real relationship with them. This is one of the reasons, in my opinion, that it doesn't really work between Aidan and Arianna. Everything is rushed and immediate, which can be very sexy, but they don't connect on a deeper level.

Mariel Cove is full of kisses - deep passionate ones, perfunctory ones, the sneaky stolen ones...in contrast, the kiss at the end here is very small. It happens at the end without much excess description, which allows the kiss itself to carry its importance - and it is very important. Could you tell us about that kiss and how it leads into what happens later in the episode between the two?

With the first kiss between Aidan and Mikayla, it isn't how they kiss that holds importance; it's the fact that they kissed at all. It has a great significance. It is the end of Aidan's relationship with Arianna. It's the beginning of her relationship with Mikayla. It takes their friendship, for better or worse, to a completely different place.

We already know that Tal's commitment issues stem from a past relationship where she was with a woman who wanted an open relationship. Now, Tal is sleeping with Anna - who is in an open relationship of sorts with her husband - and wants to be with Madison - who is also in a relationship with another person, although not an open one. How does this affect Tal? What is the point of it?

Desire is a very complicated thing. It doesn't listen to logic. It wants what it wants, despite every other circumstance.

Tal's relationship with Anna is very non-confontational. It's very straight(haha)-forward. There are no strings attached. Anna doesn't want to be in an (emotional) relationship with Tal. Tal doesn't want that with Anna, either. But Anna breaks Tal's rule of not knowing the person she sleeps with. Anna is the first step for Tal to really heal after Colby.

Madison is the wild card. Madison is Tal's heart desiring something without reason, without logic. Without rules. Here, we also see Tal's moral code, though. She doesn't want to have a wild affair with Madison. She wants a real relationship. It means more, for Tal, if she has to fight for that real, monogamous relationship, than if Madison was just single.

It seems as if Madison is truly prepared to end her relationship with Emery. As Madison drifts off to sleep telling herself that she'll do it in the morning, I have to ask - how hard or easy was it for you to take her to this place? Was it difficult to develop a relationship like that and then end it, or was it easier because Madison truly doesn't feel the connection with Emery anymore?

It was hard. I'm not the kind of person who ends relationships easily, and so I think that makes it harder for me to write the ends of them for my characters, too. For some of the scenes (especially with Madison) I would feel almost emotionally drained after writing them. I felt like I was there, with the characters. Experiencing what was happening first hand.

Cast Commentary #10

This week's Cast Commentary for Episode 10 took place via mini-interviews with the authors! Noel, Skye, and Neale each made time to answer a few questions posed by Kimbar. Here are the results:

Kimbar: What was your favorite part of this episode? Why?

Noel: As Season 1 drew to a close, I got to kick Arianna's discovers into overdrive. The turmoil in her life that led her to finally search for the truth about her own past. The details, like bread crumbs, that led her to Mariel Cove and that fuel her search. I also loved showing personal glimpses into Arianna's life -- like her condo, Pipi and Spot. But I also loved, in Episode 10, how the Grost family fully became my characters and exploring their past and dynamic -- something I hope to return to even more in Season 3 -- showed me that I truly love writing those three characters.

Skye: There were a lot of scenes I loved in this episode. I love any time Devi is with her dogs because it warms my heart. I loved the scene with Marley and her dad not only because I find their family powerful and interesting, but one thing I appreciate most about Mariel Cove is that it's a queer drama that still manages to have interesting, honest, and for the most part genuinely good male characters. Also I obviously loved writing Kennedy's scenes because any time I get to write an extended Kennedy sex scene that involves ego and role-playing it's like a surprise treat in the middle of my work week.

Skye: But I think the scene that stood out to me most and lingered with me longest was the scene where we find out what happened to Arianna in Egypt. I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but I found this scene dark, honest and powerful. I always appreciate when I see people go beyond western culture and examine everyday realities for people in other parts of the world, especially when it comes to queer issues. It gave me a lot more insight into Arianna as a character and, in my opinion, gave Arianna a bit more legitimacy as the "lesbian Anderson Cooper." Very strong scene.

Neale: There's a lot of the Kennedy/Kitty plot in this episode. I found myself really drawn into these scenes, because, to put it bluntly: The shit hit the fan. There's all this build up, Kennedy running around, fucking Lia senseless (which was *hot,* by the way, Skye. Loved it.) But what really brought it home, what made it real, was the scene where Kennedy comes home and Kitty has gone through Kennedy's locked files.

Neale: It brought up a question, that I've dealt with before in my own relationships: If you invade someone's privacy (breaking into a locked file cabinet, or drawer, or going through someone's cellphone) and you find incriminating evidence, who is at fault? I've heard it from both sides: "You never should have had those secrets in the first place." or "You never should have hidden that from me." It seems like such a straight-forward thing: Your secrets have been found out. I know the truth! You're in trouble. But, at least for me, that's never the case. It's so much more complex and complicated than that. I felt that honesty in this scene, the complexity of a multiple-year relationship.

Kimbar: Noel, you received the character Marley Grost rather late in the season -- how was it for you to suddenly add a teenage girl to the list of characters you were writing for? Was it a vast difference from Celeste the mechanic and Arianna the reporter?

Noel: Marley is so incredibly different from Celeste or Arianna. She doesn't really believe in labels for sexuality and despite an incredibly violent event in their recent family history -- the school shooting her father was caught in -- Marley is mentally a young teen. She's intensely focused on making EDM and that was my "in." With Celeste my in was she is a Black woman, from New York, who spent a few years as a bike messenger. I share all of that with her. With Arianna, I was a reporter and I was adopted in a closed adoption situation, just like Arianna. But for Marley, my connection to her was through music and my love of making electronic music. Marley is far, far better than I am -- LOL! -- but I can slide into that character's skin through EDM and dubstep.

Kimbar: You put a lot of research into this episode -- you always put a lot of research into your writing. How much time did you spend researching, would you say? Which took more time -- the researching or the writing?

Noel: Sadly, I don't think most authors research enough. If I read a book or a scene in a book that seems "thin" -- not engaging, surface conversations -- I immediately think: "The author had no heart for the scene." I try to find a heart for any scene -- something based in real life that I can read about, research, try out. Maybe this is something simple like cooking eggs. Maybe it's something more complex like tracking calls. I'll research a 2000-word scene anywhere from an hour to four hours. Then, I write about 1000 words an hour. After that, I'll spend an hour (for a 2000-word scene)  reading it aloud and tweaking and editing as I go.

Kimbar: Skye, this is a huge episode for the Kitty/Kennedy relationship. You got to write the scene where Kitty confronts Kennedy over her lies regarding their monetary situation. How did you get into the headspace to write Kitty's anger? What about Kennedy's response? How did you feel about writing this scene?

Skye: There was a lot of discussion about how Kitty and Kennedy would end up. As I watched Kennedy form as the season progressed, however, I knew there was only one responsible way to deal with this situation. Kitty had to see some of what was going on and Kennedy needed to be called out.

Skye: It wasn't hard for me to get into Kitty's headspace because I've been in Kitty's position before in various ways. Abusive relationships, especially emotionally abusive or controlling relationships that don't involve a physical element, are often overlooked or downplayed, especially in the queer community. There's a lot of pressure to make things work and prove that queer families and relationships are as "valid" and "good" as straight ones that it's hard to start a conversation about bad relationships without fear of having it smack the entire queer community in the face. There's also an assumption in society that women can't be abusive or as abusive as men, which isn't true.

Skye: Kennedy and Kitty's relationship makes for good drama, but I've always seen it as also having something to say about abuse, especially between two women. Nearly everything Kennedy does to Kitty is completely unacceptable in a caring relationship. She's demeaning, controlling, passive aggressive and is constantly lying about cheating and money. She's more about keeping Kitty and holding on to past memories than actually caring for Kitty as a person.

Skye: It was also important to me to show that Kitty was both aware of and feeling guilty about the fact that Kennedy was sick. There's a lot of pressure to stay with and give slack to abusive partners who are ill, mentally or physically, whether they're trying to get better or not. Illness is, however, not a pass to be cruel or abusive. Kennedy has made no attempt to get better or even acknowledge that she has a problem. Their relationship is leeching Kitty's energy and self esteem. She's not in a position to take care of Kennedy even if Kennedy wanted to change.

Skye: I wanted to let Kitty get angry about what's happened to her because she should be. I wanted her to see her life for what it is and realize that good memories, stability, a sense of responsibility and/or guilt about leaving a sick partner are never reasons to stay in an abusive situation or give up your own sense of self/personal health.

Skye: It's an important conversation to have and I hope this storyline and this scene can facilitate that to some degree.
 
Kimbar: Kennedy has been wooing Lia for a while now; we see her getting Rei's secret before she goes home to Kitty, and then we see her returning to Lia afterwards. What do you see as some of the main differences between the two times she visits Lia in this episode?

Skye: Kennedy is a complex character. When writing one of her scenes I have to take into account both her base personality and what her drug habits have done to her mind and instincts. Kennedy is naturally dominant, kinky, sharp, charismatic, an exhibitionist, and has a strong sex drive. Her pills, however, have added paranoia, dramatic mood swings and often an inability to see consequences to her actions.

Skye: The first time Kennedy is with Lia it's part of a bigger plot. She wants to hurt Rei and she sees a way to do that by manipulating Lia. Sure, she enjoys the sex and Lia turns out to be more fun than she expected, but in reality she really doesn't think much about Lia as a person. She's a tool.

Skye: The second time Kennedy comes back to Lia, however, Rei is the furthest thing from her mind. Kitty is the key to all of Kennedy's insecurities and desires. When Kitty stands up to her and makes it clear she's no longer willing to believe Kennedy's lies, it unhinges her. Kennedy is used to being adored and supported by Kitty unconditionally. Reality slaps Kennedy in the face and she's unable to deal. She returns to Lia like a drug. She's seeking relief and wants that admiration and adoration that was suddenly absent in her relationship with Kitty.

Skye: Looking back I feel like this is the moment in season 1 when Kennedy really starts to break. She's starting to realize Rei isn't the ultimate threat to her relationship and her relationship is already coming to an end. And she's just incapable of handling it.

Kimbar: Neale, there's a painful scene at the end of this episode involving Aidan, Mikayla, and some very bad people. How did it feel to write this particular scene? 

Neale: This scene (split between the last scene of the episode and the epilogue) was really hard to write... but at the same time, I had been looking forward to it all season. Because for me, this is the scene where Aidan changes. This is the scene where she goes from victim to protector. She finally finds her strength.

Neale: It was hard because that kind of quickly escalating violence is something that trans* and queer people experience far too fucking often. And if you haven't experienced it? No matter how confident or brave or sure of yourself... You've thought about it. You've worried about it, at least once.

Neale: There's ignorance everywhere. In schools. In the workplace. In the streets. Sometimes, even in your own home.

Kimbar: Do you feel like there was a turning point for Aidan in this scene? What do you see this scene doing for Aidan's narrative overall? 

Neale: Oops =( I think I already answered the first part of this question in the last answer. I should have read ahead =)

Neale: In terms of her narrative, absolutely. This turning point definitely changes Aidan. Until now, she's almost always by herself, stuck inside her own head. Even when she's with Arianna, she's a little bit somewhere else. This starts to pull her out. She's forced to think about someone other than herself and her own issues.

Kimbar: Wow, great answers, ladies! This has been wonderful and I really appreciate all your answers. See you next week!