Cast Commentary #5

Kimbar: Okay, let's get this chat off the ground =) Would anybody like to open with anything in particular that really stood out to them in episode five?

Rowan: Well, speaking Japanese is pretty sexy...

Skye: We have the first written song in the series in ep 5, yes?

Noel: =D Yes, it was!

Noel: We also have an episode *title* for a song that I don't think a lot of queer women will know, but that I was thrilled to see.

Kimbar: Let's talk about the songs. Writing a song into the episode was an interesting turn for the book. Whose idea was it initially?

Rowan: Jennifer's.

Skye: What about the song title, Noel?

Noel: The title of the episode is after a Phoebe Snow song.

Noel: It has this incredibly powerful line: If something scares you in the mirror, I will know that you're alone.

Rowan: That was the assignment.

Rowan: I listened to that about 50 times trying to figure out how to work it into the song.

Noel: The song Rowan wrote for the episode was incredible in so many different ways.

Rowan: Thank you.

Noel: It was so strong and so out of the blue.

Noel: I never thought I would love *reading* original music.

Rowan: Wow. I'm very flattered.

Noel: It was like the first time I ever read a stage play. I *loved* it.

Rowan: Thank you so much.

Noel: Just the truth.

Noel: I loved the idea.

Noel: I loved the song.

Rowan: Once I got started, the whole thing just came out in one piece.

Kimbar: That's pretty impressive; it's a gorgeous song!

Noel: I loved the character having that skill, that art and depth of talent... and knowing she's probably going to lose it to Huntington's.

Rowan: I tried to focus on the natural world, which Roisin loves, and everything she's feeling.

Noel: It just came across as real not locked in a moment that had nothing to do with Roisin.

Noel: It was fully *her* voice.

Kimbar: I found it an interesting decision that she chose not to write it down at the end.

Noel: Yeah, a true musician. She either had it all in her head... or she sang it once, experienced it live, and then was ready was move on. Loved that.

Rowan: Yes. It actually is.

Rowan: I play a number of instruments, but never thought of myself as a songwriter. I really let Roisin's voice come *through* me there.

Kimbar: How did it feel when you'd finished?

Rowan: I felt wonderful.

Rowan: Relaxed. I was afraid that I couldn't do it, actually.

Rowan: So it was a huge reliief.

Kimbar: I know that feeling - but you did a fantastic job.

Rowan: Thank you.

Skye: You really did, Rowan.

Rowan: Thank you, Skye.

Noel: You really did. (I've always felt that Roisin should meet Spot and compose a song to him.)

Rowan: I'm sure that can be arranged.

Noel: What if Roisin *dreamed* of Spot and he whispered to her in a magical fishy language.

Kimbar: I sense an epic scene coming! This is how awesome stuff begins.

Rowan: We should pitch it.

Noel: Totally.

Skye: Also, I love Spot.

Rowan: What's not to love about Spot?

Kimbar: I love the entire concept of Spot. I think it the whole scene is just hilarious and lighthearted and a good way to cut the tension of the rest of the episode.

Skye: I like that Pipi and Spot softened Arianna. Gave her a background of home.

Kimbar: It ended up being perfectly placed.

Noel: I really was trying to inject some humor.

Rowan: Have you ever had a plecostomus? I had one that liked to be scratched on the belly.

Noel: Jennifer said to write what we know so I actually bought one before writing Spot.

Rowan: They're awesome. The one I had lived for like 10 years.

Skye: That's really cool, Noel. Talk about bringing your research home!

Kimbar: That's what I call commitment to a job well done! So you have a fish now?

Noel: He's great, Kimbar. They're awesome pets, actually. This guy was a rescue. He was nine inches when I got him and he's already half an inch longer.

Rowan: Where do you get a rescue fish?

Noel: I got him on CraigsList but sometimes the big box pet stores have rescue fish.

Kimbar: That's fantastic ^_^

Noel: If we have the good fortune of our readers loving us, and we get to do a third season, I promise to have Pipi bring Spot to the Cove.

Noel: And... right from the beginning... I had secret plans for Pipi.

Noel: I came into Mariel Cove thinking I was going to write all these hot sex scenes...

Noel: I was even slotted to write lots of hot sex scenes...

Noel: But I kept getting out of them.

Noel: In the Pipi scene, right afterwards, Aidan is supposed to call and have Skype sex with Arianna.

Noel: I just didn't see Arianna has a very sexual creature and so I kept trying to bring more depth to the other parts of her life -- her friends, her boss, her fish, her condo.

Skye: I get that about Arianna. She's so dedicated to her work and has probably seen so much darkness. I like that she's fleshed out in so many other ways.

Rowan: Oh, cool.

Rowan: That's interesting Noel. I never would have thought of Arianna as not a very sexual creature.

Noel: Do you really see Arianna differently? I'm fascinated by that!

Rowan: Yes. To me she exuded a sensual sexuality right from the start.

Rowan: She does manage to snag one of the hottest women in the Cove immediately.

Kimbar: And sleep with her that night =P

Noel: I don't want give away any spoilers about Arianna, but there were a few things about her character that I felt made her very unique.

Rowan: I think I assumed that she would just bed a pretty lady where ever she happened to end up. Love 'em and leave 'em.

Noel: That is *totally* cool to me.

Noel: I *never* saw it that way.

Noel: *Celeste* I see that way.

Noel: Tal I see that way.

Rowan: Really?

Rowan: That's funny. I *don't* see Celeste that way

Noel: Mind blown. Seriously.

Kimbar: I never saw Celeste that way either.

Noel: !!!

Skye: I did. But... I actually have dreams about Celeste. So that may be me, not the character, LOL!

Rowan: LOL Skye!

Rowan: Well, she is pretty hot so...

Rowan: I think it's Celeste's connection to Gabriel.

Rowan: Yes. Tal is more opportunistic.

Kimbar: This is what's so great about us! We all see everybody so different.

Noel: I agree, Kimbar!

Noel: =D

Noel: It is so amazing how we can all work together, on the same project, and see the same characters so differently.

Noel: I love this.

Rowan: It's fascinating, isn't it? Since we know the story arc before we write.

Rowan: The characters we connect with.

Skye: I totally agree! I'm always fascinated by how people read characters. I think it says as much about the reader as the writer.

Kimbar: It definitely works towards creating unique points of views for our characters.

Kimbar: It kind of brings us back to the topic we keep talking about - how everybody sees Kennedy. I would like to talk a bit about Kennedy again before we're done - some important stuff happens in this episode.

Noel: Yeah, *Kennedy* happens. All. Over. Carmen.

Skye: The start of Kennedymaggedon.

Kimbar: That tree! I almost cried!

Rowan: Is that anything like snowpocolopse?

Skye: Kennedy's all fire. No snow.

Rowan: So true.

Skye: I wrote a gigantic blog about Kennedy and Carmen that will post this week.

Skye: So I'm not sure what you all want to know about the ep.

Rowan: I really liked that I got to write the description of the destruction.

Noel: The tree becomes such a powerful metaphor in the series (at least, it did for me) that I tracked down this gorgeous cherry tree growing in the middle of a forest and shot footage of it for the Mariel Cove trailer.

Rowan: Awesome!

Rowan: I am completely surrounded by these trees right now.

Rowan: It's mind blowing.

Noel: They are one of my favorite trees.

Rowan: It seems like every one in my neighborhood has one in their yard.

Skye: I fell in love with that tree. Seriously. I've always loved cherry blossom trees and I've been planning to go to Japan for a cherry blossom festival since I was a kid. I knew Rei had to have one.

Noel: They are spring and beginning again to me. And just so damn romantic. Just the look and feel and scent of the blossoms.

Kimbar: There's a bunch of them in a park in my city, and I went there with my aunt a few years back. Man....there's nothing more peaceful.

Rowan: I've been to the one in DC. It's pretty amazing.

Rowan: Oh, I know, Noel. So sensual.

Skye: Exactly. I see cherry blossom trees as all light and romance new beginnings. Which is, unfortunately, why I had Kennedy target it.

Rowan: Well, that makes sense.

Noel: And that's why it's perfect.

Skye: In my head (not necessarily on the page) I saw it as foreshadowing.

Kimbar: You did a great job of it, Skye.

Noel: Kennedy attacks it because it's so tenderly beautiful.

Rowan: And that tells us so much about her--that she has to destroy a fragile, beautiful thing.

Skye: She destroyed it because it was Rei's fragile, beautiful thing. It was the most personal attack she could think of.

Skye: Until later, of course.

Rowan: We see some interesting sides of her.

Rowan: I like that Kennedy really kind of runs the gamut in this episode.

Kimbar: Exactly. We finally get to see some of the BDSM we talked about in one of the previous commentaries...and she's so careful to make sure Carmen understands the way it's going to work and that everything consensual is in place...then we see her destroy not just the tree, but also the darkroom! Which, for me, I know how terrible that would be for a photographer. Just...like someone wiping my computer of all my writings!

Rowan: Oh, I know.

Noel: Kimbar, that is a great comparison.

Skye: That was her plan. I wanted to show Kennedy being careful and respectful in a situation that most people would consider violent. Then show her ability to completely destroy without a second thought in a peaceful setting.
Rowan: A darkroom is really a sacred space because of the light and the darkness you need to get just the right exposure for the prints.

Skye: Exactly, Rowan. And she knew she wasn't just destroying Rei's dark room. She was destroying moments of Rei's time. Rei's pictures are sacred to her. Can't be repeated. She was destroying Rei's truths. And, of course, covering her own tracks.

Noel: Her impulse control in the "bedroom" is beyond reproach. Her impulse control in other arenas? Yeah, not so good.

Rowan: It's a great dichotomy, Skye.

Skye: Thank you all.

Kimbar: Alright, we're about out of time now.

Kimbar: This has been a fantastic chat, though. Thank you all for coming =)

Noel: Thanks, once more, for organizing it, Kimbar!

Skye: Thank you all!

Noel: Have a great week, everyone

Rowan: Thanks everyone. Thanks Kimbar for putting it together

Bisexual Shame

This week’s guest blog is written by Neale Taylor from the “Mariel Cove” writing team. Neale has been fascinated with psychology, drama and women since she was fourteen years old. She enjoys swimming, is a Pinterest addict and avid MMORPG gamer. Neale lives with her daughter in California. She writes the characters Tal, Madison, Aidan and Mikayla.

When the we were assigned our characters for Mariel Cove, we were given basic facts: occupation, age, ethnicity. We were then charged with the task of turning those facts into real, identifiable, three-dimensional people. I started making lists of my characters’ info: Name, eye color, hair color, height, build, sexual orientation…

Wait. What? Isn’t this a lesbian series? Why wouldn’t all of the characters be lesbian?

There were some things about my characters that I knew immediately: Tal had just lost her grandfather. Aidan was a bartender, keeping her turbulent past from almost everyone. Madison was a mother.

That brought up a question for me: How had Madison come to have her two boys? Had she used a fertility clinic? Had she used the proverbial turkey baster? In a day and age when lesbian moms are everywhere—the PTA, the grocery store, even ABC Family—I wanted Madison’s story to be authentic. I wanted her story to be something that I knew. I wanted her story to be more complicated and messy, because sexual orientation can be very complicated and messy.

I decided that she was bisexual. She had been married to a man very young, had become pregnant and abandoned by the man she had loved. Instead of “scorned woman turns her back on men” I wanted “scorned woman grows and matures but stays true to herself.” Because one person, man or woman or a thousand variations in between, doesn’t—and shouldn’t—change who you are.

And after seeing bisexual characters in the media be the brunt of every joke, I wanted to take the challenge of writing one who was a real person, who wasn’t some sort of comic relief. Bisexual people, and characters, are told to “pick a side” or “make up your mind.” Why would we ostracize part of our LGBTQ family?

One of the only bisexual characters in the L Word, Alice, makes this comment to Dana as she’s dying in the hospital: “You’re right. Bisexuality is gross.” This is one of more than a handful of biphobic comments and punchlines in the series. Tina—the other main bisexual character—even denies being bisexual as she’s dating Henry. “I still identify as a lesbian.” And then a moment later, “Actually, I think of lesbian as a political identity, to tell you the truth.”

In Glee, the only bisexual identified character, Brittany, enforces one of the other biphobic stereotypes: Bisexuals are sluts/promiscuous. In one episode, Brittany gives gay male Kurt the opportunity to “tap this” so that she can have a perfect record of making out with everyone at McKinley High.

Now, keep in mind here, I’m trying to make a point. I’m not saying that Brittany is a slut, nor am I saying that if you have a lot of sex or kiss a lot are you a slut. I’m making a point that another major, influential TV show is perpetuating, so don’t get your panties (briefs, thongs or boxers) in a bunch :)

What does this lead to? For me, it has me rarely identifying to others as anything other than lesbian… Even though I’ve had relationships with men, which I won’t disqualify because they happened before I came “out.” Yes, now I have found the confidence to be proud about loving women, and yes, I feel more attracted to women than to men. I’ve jokingly told friends that I’m definitely a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale.

That shouldn’t, however, invalidate any feelings I might have towards men. And it shouldn’t make me “less than” or “gross.” I shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of who I know I’ve been, who I am at my core, since I was eleven years old.

I am not confused.

I am not promiscuous.

This is not a phase, or a stepping stone.

And I refuse to be ashamed any longer.

For more on this topic, see:

http://www.afterellen.com/TV/2008/2thelwordbisexuality

http://www.alternet.org/story/149710/9_stupid_myths_about_bisexuals_that_will_make_you_laugh

http://mustangdaily.net/bisexual-men-the-illusion-of-choice/

Cast Commentary #4

Kimbar: Good afternoon, everybody =) Would either of you like to start this Cast Commentary by talking about anything in particular?

Skye: Hmm. I don't remember (because I wasn't here last week) but this is the first episode where we really see Roisin facing the medical part of her disease, yes? In her convo with Ruth?

Kimbar: It's the first time we see her really talking about treatment options, yes.

Rowan: Yes.

Skye: Do you want to talk about that, Rowan?

Rowan: Sure.

Rowan: So for Roisin, the diagnosis is really new. She's pretty freaked out and in what Kubler-Ross would call Stage 1: denial. She doesn't really want to deal with the fact that it's going to change everything about her life.

Rowan: So she's just kind on auto pilot at this point. Following through with medications and treatment options. Watching the changes. Waiting. 

Rowan: Trying to find a balance between freaking out and not dealing at all. 

Rowan: Emotionally, she's not engaged at this point in time.

Rowan: But she knows that she needs to move forward. And she's glad to have Aidan home.

Skye: I think it's really powerful that we basically see her progression from the very beginning (her first confession to Rei in ep 3) and some of her first medical visits. You set her up to tell a particularly powerful story that way.

Rowan: I think, as a writer, I'm more interested in her emotional journey. I want to get the details right, of course, but that's not where the focus of her story will be.

Skye: You do a good job with that. Showing her emotional progression.

Rowan: Thanks, Skye. That's my hope. That her story will resonate with people who have different life-threatening illnesses. Not just Huntington's.

Kimbar: You do a very good job. She comes across as so real that it's painful to read sometimes. As a reader, I always want to save the characters I read about - but there's no way to do that. 

Rowan: Thank you, Kimbar. That's quite a complement. 

Skye: I don't have any life-threatening illnesses, but my mom does and I know I often see similarities between Roisin and my mom that speak to me in powerful ways. So it's absolutely not just confined to Huntingtons.

Rowan: That's what I mean.

Rowan: That's the emotional connection I'm going for.

Skye: You succeed. =)

Rowan: Thank you very much.

Skye: And speaking of emotional progression, we see Kitty go through some crazy progression this ep, too.

Rowan: Yeah. That's true.

Kimbar: Oh yes! That was certainly a...*fun* scene to write. She was very lost in her head.

Rowan: I love how she calls Kennedy vicious, malicious and twisted

Rowan: It's fun to see the characters as others see them.

Skye: *Chuckle* Kennedy *is* vicious, malicious and twisted. And it's fantastic that Kitty got to express that she knows that.

Kimbar: I wanted to establish that Kitty isn't just a doormat who stays with her girlfriend out of fear. It kind of juxtaposes with Ruth's thoughts about Kitty earlier, about how she's stuck in an abusive relationship, and how Ruth can't imagine that Kennedy was ever nice.

Rowan: Right.

Rowan: Ruth doesn't see the shade of grey.

Kimbar: Well...now Kitty has outright stated that yes, things used to be different, and she's well aware that they've changed and that it's not good and that she can only handle so much before she has to walk out the door and take a break.

Rowan: I don't blame her, personally.

Rowan: When you look back and see how much has changed, I think a lot of people come to the place where they realize something has to change.

Rowan: And usually, people don't change the way you want them to, either. 

Kimbar: No, they definitely don't. 

Skye: I think it's one of the first times in the season, perhaps second only to the Kennedy/Rei dynamic, that it's really driven home to the readers that you have to question the characters and the way they present the world. Even well-meaning characters like Ruth, who the audience instantly thinks to trust, are shown to have bias. I think it's one of the coolest things about writing a serial like this. 

Kimbar: I completely agree with that, Skye.

Rowan: I agree, Skye.

Rowan: They're all flawed, but so human.

Rowan: I was glad glad to see the depth in Kennedy and Kitty's relationship.

Rowan: It's complex and complicated.

Rowan: After years and years, there's so many "scripts".

Kimbar: I really wanted get that across. I was basically given free reign with this scene. I was told I had to have a scene with Kitty and Kennedy that took place late at night...and it really ended up changing the dynamic of a lot of things.

Skye: It sure did!

Rowan: You think sometimes that Kennedy is just this loose cannon, but she really isn't.

Kimbar: The character of Kennedy is one of my favorites, so I was really glad to be able to write the POV of the character who knows her kinder side and who loves her. So many characters dislike her - I felt privileged to be able to write from the opposite perspective.

Rowan: I don't dislike her ... exactly...

Rowan: She's hard to pin down.

Rowan: I was going to say slippery, but everything feels like there's such innuendo...

Kimbar: =P 

Skye: Kennedy is definitely slippery. LOL! 

Skye: I was always excited to have another character write her. Because the truth is, in Mariel Cove, most people love her. You see that later in the season with Celeste and Arianna. She's respected. She made the town stable and livable. But when the readers constantly see her in her own head or blackmailing Ruth the vision of the audience gets tainted. 

Rowan: This is also where the Arianna gets the spider bracelet. 

Skye: That scene (with the spider bracelet), Rowan, is one of my favorite between Celeste and Gabe. I love the relationship between Arianna and Gabe.

Kimbar: There is a fantastic connectedness between Arianna and Gabe - I absolutely love it too. 

Kimbar: I loved the scene earlier in the episode where we see Kennedy and how she acts with other women - Rose, and then the argument with Rei and the decision to go after Lia. It was so well written, Skye.

Rowan: Yes.

Rowan: I love that scene. It's like all sides of Kennedy... 

Skye: That was a scene I planned to write from the very beginning. 

Rowan: Yeah. It really works. 

Rowan: There's so much going on in that scene. 

Skye: I had about 5 in my head the moment I started building Kennedy. Showing Kennedy with Rose is the first time you see the way she plays... and how she thinks of her playmates. They're very different than lovers to her. In her own way, she doesn't even consider herself cheating, to be honest.

Rowan: That makes sense. A lot of people really see lovemaking and sex and very different.

Rowan: One involves an emotional component. The other may be about power or just physical desire or lust or whatever.

Skye: She definitely does. And even more than that... she sees these moments with playmates as power trips. Sex may be involved. But she's not getting off on that. She likes control. And she loves getting consent to do outrageous things.

Rowan: Yes. And that's what I love about Kennedy.

Rowan: It's really about power.

Rowan: You know for a long time, that kind of discussion was very heated in the lesbian community.

Rowan: When I lived in Cambridge in the 1980s, there was a very strict divide between the flannel dykes and those who were playing with BDSM.

Skye: Definitely. When you really study her, she's actually an incredibly constant/stable personality. Some of that has been altered by drugs. Nearly all of her personality isn't socially acceptable. But she is, at her core, constant.

Rowan: It's really interesting how much that's changed. For the better.

Rowan: There was a lot of prejudice. Linking BDSM to misogyny. 

Rowan: And part of that was that the ideas of sexual abuse and Ellen Bass' book had just come out.

Rowan: So imagine Doc n Fluff by Pat Califia which was one of the first SM novels.

Rowan: And a book called Against SM both released within a couple months of each other.

Rowan: There was a flannel dyke bar in Boston and a divey BDSM bar in Cambridge.

Rowan: Not much line crossing....

Kimbar: There are a lot of people still who don't understand it and thus don't like it. It's too bad.

Rowan: They want to see it as sexual. And not about power. 

Kimbar: Or about power in a negative manner. 

Skye: Definitely. It's still a struggle sometimes, especially with practitioners of older-school feminism. A lot of people can't wrap their minds around the idea of consent as a dividing line between assault and consensual play. Many also can't seem to understand how, for some people, BDSM can be incredibly healing and freeing. 

Rowan: I agree Skye.

Rowan: People get stuck with some outdated ideas and think that lecturing the rest of us is going to change our minds.

Kimbar: Haha. I've gotten multiple lectures for my interest in BDSM.

Skye: Different strokes for different folks, as they say =) I'm really glad I got the opportunity to work with the kink mindset in detail (but more on that next week!)

Rowan: Sexuality is so complex, that it pushes buttons for everyone, one way or another.

Rowan: LOL.

Rowan: Stay tuned, dear readers... Kimbar: I love that Mariel Cove really does open us up to talk about a multitude of relationship types. It's so freeing! 

Skye: And guarantees something for just about everyone =) 

Rowan: I really think you did a great job with Kennedy, Skye. I was very impressed.

Skye: Thank you. I love writing her. 

Kimbar: Alright, we're just about out of time. Is there anything else you guys would like to talk about? 
Skye: I know Noel and Neale aren't here, but I want to give mad props for all of Celeste's scenes in this ep. Also to Neale for introducing one of my personal favorite characters, Mikayla. 

Rowan: Yes. Mikayla is a great character.

Rowan: And Celeste has a lot of "screen time" in this episode.

Skye: She does. And I adored every second.

Rowan: Me too.

Kimbar: Celeste is a fantastic character and I love seeing inside of her head.

Rowan: I think we really lucked out with a very talented pool of writers.

Kimbar: I think everybody did a fantastic job of writing their scenes this episode.

Rowan: Thank you and I agree.

Skye: Oh! Also, we get the first hint of something going down with Tal and Madison this ep. Hot scene.

Kimbar: Oh yes! Definitely so. =)

Rowan: Right!

Skye: I think this is about the time when writing that I dubbed Neale the "Sex Queen of Mariel Cove."

Rowan: LOL

Kimbar: Haha! That's a good title. She writes some really hot scenes.

Rowan: But next week ....

Rowan: I agree she does.

Kimbar: Well, I guess we'll just have to wait for it then! ; ) Anyway, I think that about wraps it up! It was great meeting up with you ladies, again!

Skye: Next week we see why Kennedy is not the sex queen of Mariel Cove. More... the "Hot, Kinky CEO of Mariel Cove."

Rowan: Good to see both of you.

Rowan: Until next time week.

Day of Silence

Today, April 19th, 2013, is the Day of Silence.

WWW.DAYOFSILENCE.ORG

I've been lucky so far - incredibly lucky. I have never personally experienced bullying because of my sexuality. Then again, I've always been a very quiet person. People don't notice me much and I live in a small university city that's fairly accepting. It's because of my incredible luck that I'm so adamant about the importance of The Day of Silence. It's because of my incredible luck that I've engaged in the Day of Silence since I first heard about it. It's because of my incredible luck that I'm writing this blog today.

How many people aren't lucky? How many people suffer attacks every day because of their sexuality? How many people won't speak up for fear of those attacks?

Just this morning, I read of an attack on a gay bar in France; a couple who was attacked in Washington DC; a man who was attacked by his Christian pastor in order to keep him out of the church; a series of nine murders of gay men over the course of nine months that are leading investigators to believe it may be a serial killer; a man who evidently set his son on fire for being gay; a Russian gay rights activist attacked last month in front of a group of journalists; three groups of people in the United States that called for the death penalty for homosexuals last year; and more people executed in other countries for being gay. 

I have a good friend from Egypt who claimed asylum in the United States recently because his sexuality could get him killed in his country. 

I have a friend who was mistreated in high school because her best friend was a lesbian and they were both involved in running the gay-straight alliance. That friend now identifies as a straight male and faces even more hardship. Too many people have questioned his ability to parent behind his back because he's going to confuse his son, or because he's just going through a phase, or because he's "Not really a man - she's way too open with her emotions to be a man."

The lesbian best friend from high school repeatedly had food thrown at her from the second floor walkway during break and lunch. 

What can being silent really do? The laws aren't going to change in Egypt because I'm not talking today. My friend is stuck with the choices of hiding his sexuality or banishing himself from his homeland, his family, his friends. Murders, calls for execution, attacks - those aren't going to simply disappear because you and I put tape over our mouths and write, "Break the Silence" across it. I can't undo what's happened to my friends by zipping my lips.

And yet, the more people who get involved the bigger the message we send to the world will be. We do not accept this kind of abuse and mistreatment. 

We do not accept it.

My best friend started the gay-straight alliance when we were in high school. I call him my brother; he's the person who's the closest to me in all the world. I know my Egyptian friend through him - they dated for a while. But in high school, he created the gay-straight alliance.

We had to fight the school at first. Now, don't get me wrong - the school was mostly a progressive school; however, they did everything they could to stand in the way of my brother creating this club. He would ask them what he needed to do in order to start a club, and they would tell him one or two things...and simply leave out the rest. Then, after he'd completed the steps and felt confident that everything was in order, he'd bring them all the paperwork. They'd hand it back and inform him that he was missing one or two other steps. Then they'd do it again, and again. They managed to drag it out for half a year before the club was finally in place. And, unfortunately, before the club was fully set up my brother had to leave school and go to Job Corps. 

It was unfortunate, but we managed to get the club together.

The next year, the school did a number of things to help promote its clubs. Trash cans were painted...ours somehow didn't mange to get the requisite sealant and most of the paint was washed off by somebody with a hate-on for the GSA, but no matter, we made another one. Which was taken outside and run over by a car. Then another one, which was chained down. And then the chain was cut, and it was taken outside, and it was run over again. Fun stuff.  Around this time, the school accidentally forgot to tell us the deadline to submit pictures and information about our club to go into the school yearbook...so we were left out of that. And, the school set up a nice little tack board where the various clubs could showcase who they were and what their purpose was and when they met. And ours was spray-painted black.

Your typical annoying anti-gay crap - the only thing the students could do in a school that had a very firm zero tolerance policy on fighting, but was fine with holding their hands wide and saying, "I got nothing," to a little playful destruction.

It was well past the Day of Silence at this point in the year, but we decided to hold one anyway. There had been way too much happening that year. To be honest, I expected a paltry turn-out. The school - both the administration and the student body - had made it abundantly clear that it just didn't care about us. But, the women running the club got the message out to the school that we were holding a second Day of Silence; they discussed on the announcements the events that had led up to this decision and they announced the ways in which people could participate:

The club would pass out paper hearts in the morning with either, "Break the silence; end the violence" or "Break the silence; stop the hate" on them. We would provide tape so people could put these hearts on their shirt, their pants, their backpack, wherever. This would show their support. From there, they could either choose to be fully silent, mostly silent but still engage in class conversations, or not at all silent. The heart showed the support.

However, when our Day of Silence came - the number of students that wore hearts was astounding. Students I had never expected walked by with hearts taped to their jeans. My band class was cancelled and we played a silent game outside because everyone was wearing a heart and was in some form of a vow of silence. My drama class read The Laramie Project - reading out loud was volunteer only. I spent the entire day silent and in shock. 

At the end of the day, the entire school met in the commons and shouted to break the silence. After that, the school stopped getting in our way. Nobody else messed with our things. It was pretty clear - to everybody - that there was more support for the GSA than anybody had previously realized.

It was a powerful message - to the school and to us. The Day of Silence can't legalize gay marriage or protect the LGBT community from violent governments, but at least it lets a few people know that this kind of treatment isn't okay. 

It's not okay.

Living With a Terminal Illness

This week's guest blog is written by Rowan Reynir from the "Mariel Cove" writing team. Rowan has worked more than twenty different jobs from Boston to Seattle with many stops in between. She is currently employed in education and spends her free time writing or with her eclectic circle of friends. She lives in a hundred year old house overlooking the Pacific Ocean with an eight year old golden doodle named Lucky. Rowan writes the characters Roisin, Caitlin, Ghiera and Tatiana.

I think most people can relate to living with a chronic illness or condition. In my life, I know a child with type 1 diabetes, two boys with autism who are at opposite ends of the spectrum, a number of people in recovery, a friend with ADHD, and a childhood friend who is bipolar. Many of us suffer from debilitating conditions that take days or sometimes weeks from our lives. I can relate. I lose days. And my illness is a daily struggle for me. But the big difference I that when I lose a day or two or three, there’s a small light in my heart that reassures me that I’ll have more chances. It’s okay, I tell myself.  You’re learning. You’re getting better.

That’s really the key phrase, isn’t it? “You’re getting better.” People whose illnesses are terminal don’t hear that. Their friends and family don’t hug them and say, “It’s okay. This will pass.” Because it won’t.

When Jennifer DiMarco asked me to write Roisin Moran, the Tidewater’s owner, she said, “I want you to give her a terminal illness.”

Wow. I thought. What an incredible challenge for a writer. What a gift.

I liked this idea because a terminal illness doesn’t mean that life becomes more precious—because I don’t think that is true for everyone. A diagnosis of terminal cancer doesn’t automatically turn someone into a saint or the star of a Lifetime movie. Just like in the healthy population, you’ve got jerks and angels. And even the angels have bad days.

It took me a while to figure out what Roisin’s diagnosis would be. I did a lot of research and finally decided on Huntington’s for a number of reasons. There are aspects of this disease that I have either experienced or witnessed including fits of sudden rage, depression, suicidal thoughts, dementia, frustration with the activities of daily living, and the loss of the person inside the physical shell.

What makes a person unique? The soul? Memories? Personality? Intelligence? Humor? Gentleness? Grace? All of this and none. Is it true that as the brain decays, the person disappears? Sometimes, as with Alzheimer’s, once that period of frustration passes—when you’re aware that something is wrong and that you can’t remember how to write a check or get from your home to the grocery store—there’s a peace that follows. As the mind slides into the past and remains there, a son or daughter might seem like a stranger to the Alzheimer’s patient, but there are still stories they both remember, still ways to connect.

Huntington’s is not so kind.

I learned only recently that there is a juvenile form of Huntington’s as I watched a YouTube video of a child as she grew from three to eleven, becoming more and more uncoordinated, until she could only stand with the help of a kind of walker that enclosed her body. A child who cried when her feeding tube had to come out and who, before her twelfth birthday, was gone. In her family, all the women have the disease.

Huntington’s is genetic and hereditary. If one parent has the gene, there is a fifty percent chance that the children will also have it. It’s Russian roulette. Spin the cylinder and pull the trigger. There’s a genetic test. Would you want to know?

Six months before Season 1 of Mariel Cove begins, Roisin finds out that she has Huntington’s. It comes as a shock to her because her parents never mentioned it. Roisin’s first impulse isn’t to call them, either, as they’ve been estranged for many years. So she tamps down her fear, uncertainty and rage. She asks her daughter, Aidan, to come and live in the Cove. She tries to live life as though the words “Huntington’s disease” had never been uttered.

On average, a person diagnosed with Huntington’s lives for about sixteen years after the diagnosis. Not all of those years are good. The disease attacks the brain, destroying specific areas that control movement—including the ability to swallow without choking—and memory. It starts with moodiness and clumsiness and culminates in hospice. In between, Roisin will lose her ability to walk, run, sit still, drive, care for herself, and care for others. She won’t be able to work, play her guitar or run with her dog.

I read a review of Joan Didion’s A Year of Magical Thinking which noted that part of the reason Didion spends so much time setting up her relationship with her husband in the beginning of the memoir is so that she—and we—can see what she’s lost. That’s what Season 1 is for Mariel Cove readers. Roisin is largely symptom free, enrolled in drug trials, writing songs, fully engaged in her life.

But eventually, Roisin’s disease will be terminal. My hope, of course, is that Mariel Cove will run for twenty seasons and we’ll all get to grieve Roisin with the biggest Irish wake the Cove has ever known. But there are no guarantees—about anything.

Roisin has a very special place in my heart. She’s close to my age, dealing with some of the same issues about the choices she’s made and where they’ve brought her. She’s joyful to have Aidan back in her life, grateful for her friends with whom she shares the news of her diagnosis as the season progresses, and still willing to take chances.

As you are reading Season 1, we are embarking on writing Season 2 and as I look into Roisin’s future, I know that changes are on the horizon. It is very important to me that her journey be as realistic as possible, both physically and emotionally. That she is fully rendered, fully realized and the disease is depicted as accurately as possible.

I could talk more about Roisin and Huntington’s, but I think there are some people whose stories are worth sharing and who embody the phrase “a picture is worth a thousand words.” I’ve selected a few videos out of the hundreds I’ve watched to give those of you who aren’t familiar with the disease a sense of what’s it’s like to live with this terminal illness.

Meghan’s Story:

A Family Struggles with Huntington’s Disease:

Living with HD: Pierre’s Story Part 1:

There are two additional parts to Pierre’s story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXH_sP1mM-o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hwlgvVTV4A

Cast Commentary #3

Kimbar: Okay, so let's bring this Cast Commentary to an open. This episode had a lot of great stuff in it - we got to know some new characters, we got to see how some of the relationships work (or don't), and we started really getting into the central mystery with Arianna and her research at the library. I love how the Arianna scenes are done - one of the problems that can arise in fiction is giving the reader too much backstory - too much inside into the character's motivations. I feel like this scene with Arianna gave us just enough teaser to be really, really curious as to why she's so interested in Mariel, while giving us enough hints to draw our own conclusions. 

Neale: Sometimes characters get lost in research, and the reader loses interest. I didn't, which was a pretty good thing, I think =)

Rowan: In a mystery, especially, it's easy to get bogged down with backstory. 

Rowan: I agree. That can be a real challenge. Using the library was a great idea.

Neale: It worked for me.

Noel: Doling out little bits of Arianna's true intentions was really fun =)

Neale: It wasn't as dense as other mysteries that I've read, which made it continue to be captivating.

Rowan: We get to see Tatiana, the librarian, in action and also Ghiera and the school.

Noel: The dual purpose of the scene =)

Noel: Arianna gives the reader backstory and we get to see Ghiera and Tatiana at work.

Rowan: =)

Kimbar: It was very refreshing. There wasn't a lot of deep connections to make that made it confusing, but there were enough little gems for the reader to go, "Wait a second...I totally get what's going on there!" 

Noel: I love trying to create those "wait as second!" moments for the reader.  

Rowan: I admit that I read that scene several times trying to put everything together. 

Noel: =D That's great, Rowan! I guess I did my job then!! 

Rowan: Yes. You definitely did. 

Rowan: I felt like I should be taking notes or something... lol 

Noel: I know Arianna isn't a very likable character -- not very approachable. I really tried with her. 

Rowan: Arianna comes off as someone with a laser-sharp focus. 

Neale: You know, I liked Arianna. 

Neale: Like all of your characters, Noel, she's always very real. And I appreciate that about her. 

Noel: Thank you, Neale. 

Kimbar: I completely agree with that. She makes me want to get to know her better - both because of her mystery and because of her personality. 

Rowan: I agree. Arianna is intriguing and she really does drive Season 1 forward. 

Noel: Sometimes it was hard to remember what had been revealed or not yet. Did anyone else run into that with their characters?

Neale: Noel, I did, sometimes. 

Neale: Trying to keep everything in order can be tricky, with so many interconnected plots.

Kimbar: I only had one character, so I didn't have to sorry about what had been revealed so much - my bigger worry was with making sure nothing I described countered someone else's description of the same thing. But I don't think Kitty had any POV scenes in this episode. She only showed up in Kennedy's scenes.

Noel: Kitty has a really big secret though!

Kimbar: There's another character in this episode that I really liked - I wish we'd gotten to see more of her. Rei. She was really introduced in this episode, and she was introduced by you, Rowan, right?

Rowan: Yes.

Noel: The Ranger with a heart of gold. 

Neale: I loved how you introduced her, Rowan. 

Neale: And how you introduced her space - the cherry tree, her backyard. 

Rowan: It was a lot of fun for me to do that. I spent quite a bit of time looking at the images Sky had posted of Rei's house.

Rowan: And I imagined what it would be like to walk into that space.

Rowan: I was very happy that Skye was pleased with it.

Rowan: That's what works for me as a writer. I imagine myself there and it's easy to see it. 

Rowan: I wanted to make sure the tree figured prominently. 

Noel: That is a really nice thing about the private writers' forum. We can post pictures and everything of the characters and spaces even if we can't post them publicly because of copyright.

Neale: Absolutely.

Neale: Without that, I'd be lost. A lot =D

Rowan: Yes. And Skye had taken a lot of care with Rei's surroundings. 

Noel: I think, with a group project like this, you almost *have* to have a private forum where the writers can interact and exchange ideas. 

Rowan: I agree. Otherwise we'd end up re-covering a lot of ground. 

Neale: Absolutely 

Rowan: I was actually very pleased when Skye asked if I thought Rei and Roisin would be good friends. 

Rowan: Because from the first time I "met" Rei, I liked her and wanted our characters to interact. 

Kimbar: Skye definitely created a very beautiful and distinct home for Rei, and Rowan - I felt like you really brought it to life.

Rowan: Thank you, Kimbar.

Kimbar: I write for Kitty, who is also supposed to be friends with Rei, but unfortunately in this episode Kennedy puts a kibosh on the two of them interacting anymore. It's interesting seeing, in this episode, how different characters view one particular person. You have Roisin, who is very close friends with and views her as a very peaceful and beautiful person - inside and out - and you have Kennedy, who sees Rei as an enemy trying to break her and Kitty apart.

Rowan: Good point.

Rowan: It think that dynamic between Kitty and Kennedy is really interesting.

Rowan: And I'm glad we had a couple going through those issues.

Neale: That's definitely something that we have - a variety of types of relationships. 

Neale: Which is important, because different readers are going to relate to different relationships. 

Rowan: I agree. 

Noel: Something for everyone. 

Noel: That's what I like to think Mariel Cove has. 

Kimbar: I feel like the argument scene between Kitty and Kennedy was one of my favorites in this episode; I may be biased because it has my character in it, but honestly I feel like the scene was handled so realistically. I could feel Kitty's exasperation and Kennedy's explosive mood swings were so perfectly placed - she's clearly unstable.

Neale: I really liked it too, Kimbar.

Neale: It started my real fascination with Kennedy's character. 

Rowan: And then there's that moment when Madison fakes her orgasm. That's just ... painful.

Noel: So raw!

Neale: Definitely.

Neale: That might be my favorite of Madison's scenes of the whole series.

Rowan: I think it is mine.

Rowan: The sequence of events that begin earlier that day.

Neale: Thanks, Rowan =)

Noel: The crazy thing is, Madison is not one of my favorite characters...but her scenes throughout the season are so real and raw and sincere that I love them!

Rowan: I think readers are going to relate to that feeling of a relationship slipping away.

Noel: You're just that good, Neale.

Neale: Aw, Noel =) Thank you.

Kimbar: That whole scene between Madison and Emery was painful - and it's also one of my favorites in this episode. It's a good juxtaposition for the relationship that Tatiana and Ghiera have and the relationship Kitty and Kennedy have. You've got one great relationship, one terrible relationship, and this one in the middle that's just...probably the most painful of the relationships. Plus, there are kids...and that always complicates things.

Neale: Always.

Rowan: So true.

Neale: Other than the research, that's kind of what this episode focused on, isn't it? Relationships.

Noel: Kind of the entire series!

Neale: True. Very true, Noel.

Rowan: And there's that nice bit of foreshadowing with Tal and Celeste.

Kimbar: It does seem like that. And then we end off with Aiden and Arianna. They're just getting a relationship going, and it's rocky, but there's a lot of passion and they both want to try.

Rowan: I like that those sparks begin in Episode 1 in the cafe and then land here.

Noel: Romantic relationships. Parent/child. Best friends. Several grandparents.

Noel: Some series are plot-driven but Mariel Cove really is relationship-driven.

Kimbar: We're just about done with our time. Does anybody have anything we haven't touched on that they want to put out there?

Noel: That's it for me =)

Neale: Nothing here =D

Rowan: I'm good.

Kimbar: Excellent =) It's been a pleasure chatting with all of you again.